Menopause, Marriage and Motherhood

Cat sets herself down outside the window and sends a regal glance in my direction

Cat : meow (rough translation: please let me in)

Me: [ignores cat] …

Cat edges closer to the window, tries to make self look more appealing: meow (rough translation: I’m still here, waiting patiently to come in)

Me: [tries to stay engrossed in my work]…

Cat starts to look irritated: MEOW

Me: … but thinks “Piss off, cat”

Cat gets on hind legs and scratches at window

Me: … [puts fingers in ears and sings loudly]

Cat scratches at the window louder: MEOW (rough translation: are you DEAF?)

Me: lalalalalala

Cat stands up on hind legs, scratches and thumps window: MEEEOOOOOWWWWRRRRLLLLL (rough translation: FOR GODS’ SAKE, YOU STUPID HUMAN, LET ME IN!)

Me: [waves to cat through window]

Eventually, sick of the constant whining and noise, I go and let the cat in but only after I’ve kept her waiting a few minutes longer while I smiled and waved at her through the window.

Cat strolls through the door, takes one teensy, tiny mouthful of her food and walks back to the door: Meow? [rough translation: can you let me out, please?]

Me: …


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